Let’s… Sorta… Talk About Twinkle Star Sprites

Sometimes, making a conscious decision on what to write about it can often lead to very boring, safe ideas. I mean, I could probably spend the next few weeks being very safe and ordinary and reviewing games that everyone EVERYWHERE ever has reviewed – like the entirety of the Sonic or Mario franchise – but…

Let’s… Sorta… Talk About Lotus Turbo Challenge

I think it’s safe to assume that I will never own a Lotus. That isn’t because I probably won’t ever be able to afford one or because it’s not really the car for me or whatever. It’s more because I genuinely couldn’t give a shit about cars and I’m not even sure I know of…

Let’s… Sorta… Talk About Biomotor Unitron

Pokemon had a lot to answer for. In the age of battling little creatures against each other, it seemed as though the pocket monsters phenomenon was head and shoulders above the rest and nothing was truly going to ride its coat tails. In truth, this was pretty much exactly what happened, albeit not without some…

Let’s… Sorta… Talk About Ex-Mutants

I’ll come clean with you now: I don’t actually have much affinity to comic books at all. I say this knowing that I have an entire cupboard full of manga from when I absolutely loved the stuff and became slightly obsessed with making sure I had every volume of certain series… before I grew slightly…

Let’s… Sorta… Talk About Power Instinct: Matrimelee

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today, in the sight of God and in the face of this company to join together this word… and this word… in holy matrimony. Now, repeat after me: I, MATRIMONY… take thee MELEE… to be my lawfully wedded… word. NOW KIIIIIIIIISS. And get a room, you two. So Power…

Let’s… SORTA… Talk About Blades Of Vengeance

A small caution for everyone for this review: if you are in any way offended by the colours red and brown or combinations of red and brown, you will be offended and probably need to go and vent about it on Tumblr, where it will be mislaid amongst the porn, shirtless men, cats and fandom…

Let’s… Sorta… Talk About Dr Robotnik’s Mean Bean Machine

There was obviously a meeting somewhere in the Sega offices that suggested Dr Robotnik should have his own game. The weird thing about characters like Dr Robotnik – and I refuse to call him Eggman for the sole reason that it’s 1993, it’s the UK, we called him Robotnik and you’ll have to live with…

Let’s… Sorta… Talk About Breakers Revenge

Guaranteed statement: you will never find a game that epitomises the word ‘solid’ as much as this one. Imagine this as the gaming equivalent of an oak table. You could probably place all manner of things on top of it, nearby it, surrounding it and it will not change the fact that it is as…

Let’s NOT Talk About Kula World

Game design 101: when designing a game, make sure that any and all physics make complete and utter sense. Unless your game is going for the opposite effect, then try to make sure that anything that happens actually happens because reality. Kula World skims this line and treads the ground in between making sense and…

Let’s… Sorta… Talk About Nanotek Warrior

Games are weird, no? I mean, sitting in front of the TV moving around a little box for hours on end and then getting barely any plaudits at the result of your skills… these days, past the thrill of watching the story unfold, conclude and resolve before your eyes is set in stone merely by…

Let’s… Sorta… Talk About Kurushi/Intelligent Qube

Those of you out there who are fans of watching blank TV screens and pieces of black cardboard are going to have an absolute field day today because┬áthis game is brought to you today by the letters I and Q and by the colour black. And if you’re really into it in a non-kinkshaming-but-actually-sort-of-judging-you-on-this sexual…

Let’s… Sorta… Talk About Waku Waku 7

You remember the Neo Geo, right? That super expensive console that SNK threw out into the world that housed a plethora of SNK fighting games, etc, etc, you know all this. I’ve said it before and you know it’s expensive. Expensive joke, fighting game joke, blah, blah, blah… here we go. Years and years and…